My Mentor

I've learn to dance like they do
I never thought it'd be easy
but practice makes it perfect
or maybe He's just the best
he teaches me everything
he's like my mentor too
I love him for his patience
and when we crack up laughing
It's a secret between U and I
how we always laugh for random reasons
but maybe it's just us
the bond we've created for eachother
It's not for other's to break
I promise i will practice
so i can be #1
the #1 of ur student
Oh and maybe your #1 love too!

"She" and "I"

Last Night, "she" remember you
She stared at the ceiling
knew you wouldn't come back
She knew there were no Happy endings
This was reality nothing will fix it
She went to sleep ignoring the pain...
last night I couldn't sleep
I whimpered, and acted pathetic
I kept thinking everyday you'd come back
I remembered crying today
They thought it was a fight between Jacky and "I"
I knew they were all wrong
the sky looked too happy
it was wrong.... and i felt alone
She knew it was all just reality
I knew i couldn't hold back the tears
She knew Jacky only made me feel more miserable
I knew i loved him, and i didn't care
She knew i was too emotional
I knew it too
I knew I'd never break up with Jacky
She was just plain solid
I didn't like her...
She was me
I was her...

(](._.)[)

im a bad poet :D

I never thought guys ever tried
it changed when i saw your eager face
I know you are our loyal friend
but guys you just never get it
you guys try so hard
but u guys give in
it always breaks our heart
but we know it's sometimes better
it's always better to keep you clueless
for we are scared to hurt u

I'm no good at poetry, im not good at keeping this silent, but i will not tell it straight foward to everyone, i hope he will get my hint and my friend will not kill me for hinting =\, but it's a poetry about what i think, it's sad to look at it, so here i go:

I never believed in Asian Parodies
i thought they were all fake
but now i see what your in
it hurts to see u sad
Your very lies are not so hard
i can see through em like fog
you are my bestest mime
you hide them all so well
I'm not surprised he cant tell
I just wished this wasn't true
So i dont see you blue





i sort of got it on my 3rd try :\ im so bad at poetry Lol

Same thought

It's the sunrise of saturday, im getting ready to start out my weekend volenteering, and helping people, burrr it's kind of cold x] but it makes me feel happy to help people out, and see them happy...it's just kind of awkward when some of them cry on ur shoulder (psttt.. that kind of freaks me out sometimes still 0-0 ) We're gonna get there at 7:30, but i woke up at 6 thinking of JAcky, he's going to reno today, i keep thinking of what happened to Johnny, i couldnt sleep, i didnt even have the enthusiasm to read. I sat in bed and thought for 30 mins then decided to open the computer, pick up the phone and call Jacky, i think i woke up someone in my family along that process, yeah i woke up jacky before he woke up by himself :] He already left at 07:01:42 A.M im starting to miss him Lol... He'll be back by night, im sure of it. Blueberry Bagel for breakfast :D Fuel up for uhm *counts my fingers* 3... uhm 4, 3 and a half hour of Lifting boxes and 0-0 idk? Going hyper around jess, like the little wild sister im supposed to be :3 My sis doesnt want to wake up for volunteering Lol. Nom nom Nom Blueberry Bagels ^^ Crunchy on the outside, soft in the inside, full of the taste of blueberries, Yum :] Haha i like my breakfast 0-0I wonder where jacky is right now =\ *mopes around wondering and worrying.... Haha time to go!I'll make sure to hold the locket close to my heart ;], oh i hate using a tablet as a mouse my mouse keeps dying every sec or so -.- I'll stop being random now, gots to go, Bye ;]


11:55 Am: Well k im back, it was the same ;] except i saw a roadkilled black cat with it's headsqaushes, and it's uhmmmmm brains, flesh, it also had a very blank snarl :( It was very sad and a very troubling site, my sis freaked out -.- and almost ditched me 0-0 I got in and out ;] im very full now 0-0 that was fun...

Note to self

I feel too sad to even want to do my fav hobbies, Note to self: your not aloud to become depressed again,Bad Suzy! Bad


*sigh* ),:

I Hate Having feelings now.....

The banner

I feel excluded from the group... a lot, maybe just cuz they dont consider me in the "group" i just wished i was... anyways i did the banner.... IT looks kind of gurly x] but they picked the colors

Journal Entry

Dear soul,
It's December 18th,(To start with this is not a emo entry w.e i just needed to rant and get it out of my system, it's not a rant or angry comment towards anyone, and it was just a review of my day if u want to skip the rant Skip to the second paragraph.) I feel like i want to hide from the whole world except for Bonnie, she's the only one that understands, i feel miserable in a way, I feel like im gonna cry again, and it seems wimpy. I dont feel like the cheerful Gummy im supposed to be, and i dont want to pretend to be happy, it's very tiring and stupid once u think about it. It always makes me feel so sick when i want to cry but i hold it in, it's an empty piece of hard chocolate, and i hate the taste. I try to do what im supposed to do, i dont think im doing that well enough, i dont think my friends even notice my appearance, it seems that way... very often. Well, for the friends, i was hanging out with today. It was very lonesome, and it made me think of johnny, it made me think of death, and it made me really wish i could lay on the grass, and lie there like a invisible person forever. I Hate the way people think someone is emo or cuts themselves just because they wish they were invisible, and i hate those who have friends who tell them they're Emo,they're the ones that are "friends" and they're supposed to be there for each other and help them... They're supposed to be my friends...... Ill stop ranting now...

Today was the last day of school till winter break started, it was nice to see my friends, i was of course very happy, :] i sparred with a highlighter against Cristine as usual, and you'd think we'd be insane if u saw us spar each other with high lighters, we stopped using pencils cuz she was scared of the blood i got from the cut ._O she's scared of blood Lolsz ;].we didnt do much for any classes it was sort of partying i dont know 0-0. I Love my presents, im grateful for all of them, nomatter what it is u gave me :], and im in love with Jacky, " i think i fell in love today" Haha with the pendant u gave me ;] I went to walmart after school fallowing Jacky, and friends 0-0 to help chau pick out something for Sarah. I dont think we really ever took a shotcut :] but i got a blister from it . Yay? Part, uhm i wouldnt talk about it... HAha..... It was fun (sarcasm)

"Black like me"

Lately I've Been into a book called "Black like me" By John Howard griffin (My Sis Suggested this book to me). You can Probably tell by the Title of this book it is about racism against African Americans, in which case they call them Negros. It Talks about a white Journalist in the 1950's, who uses a medication to turn his skin into a darker shade to pass as a Negro, exchanging his luxurious life into a mistreated life, simply because his skin was black. I found this very interesting, because how the whites, just took a glance at the black and instantly give them something like death stares, not for who they are, or their occupation, but for the color of their skin, just the color.As i move more into the book, Mr.Griffin Moves from New Orleans deeper into the south, receiving more hostility as he moved further in, They didn't even allow him the right to stand in one particular spot, Racist? Yeah that's incredibly not fair. But The Blacks Treated him like family.It's such a big line, difference between what color your skin is. If u were White u got hostile stares from African Americans, If u were African American you got Hostile stares from White, no matter where u are in south it was like that, except the whites seemed to have more power. In my Opinion it was hte Hardest for the African Americans.
Story Summary:In the Deep South of the 1950s, a color line was etched in blood across Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Georgia. Journalist John Howard Griffin decided to cross that line. Using Medication that darkened his skin to deep brown, he exchanged his privileged life as a southern white man for the disenfranchised world of an unemployed black man.

What happened the John Howard Griffin--from the outside and within himself--as he made his way through the segregated Deep South is recorded in this searing work of nonfiction.His audacious, still chillingly relevant eyewitness history is a work about a race and humanity every American must read.

This was a book i just liked a lot and wanted to write a blog about it, i am not advertising this book or w.e. And all of this is my opinion. Summary i did not write.

So if they stopped racism between human Beings, what about all the animals the humans are harming our there? Racism toward Animals?

Death of a Loved one

Lately My Best Friend has been very sad lately over her Aunt, who's in the hospital in China near death because of cancer, she really hates diseases now, because her aunt is the 3rd family member dying from a Disease, ecspecially when the last two has died on or near her birthday. I Dont Know what im really suppose to so, I've tried to comfort her with, what i hope very good explanations, and Quotes that helped me live through the Death of my friend.I am aware that a lot of people expect me to be able to comfort her the most through this, just because we've played together since young,shared secrets, candy, made Nicknames for our crushes, but i am not the best at comforting people when it's this situation, i get the reaction of uneasiness and wanting to cry too.She's going to China to visit her one last time during winter break, I feel like i haven't done much to help her, i feel really utterly useless now. I don't want her to fall into depression or anything, and idk how to help her because what I've gone through isn't exactly the same as her it's death of someone close, but we all think differently, I don't believe i really helped her much but made her laugh and forget about it for a while the last time she broke down during school. It's like idk, empty pain? there's bitter chocolate on the outside but onces u bite into it, it feels so hallow but it hurts at the same time, because u bit so hard into it.
[(Bit so hard in:Being so close to that person, literally will give up your life for them)
(Hallow Feeling:They were once what was inside, now it's hallow and it hurts)
(Bitterness: what once was happy laughter, and warm memories)]
I dont think it's wrong to bite so hard into it, because feelings are part of you, it's the affection u feel for one another through happy memories, and events, but it's sad when it suddenly gets cut off. How would i Help her, what would i tell her, people say time helps, it does but friends and families help too. Any Suggestions? Help? how did u guys help your family or friend?

New Here!

To Start, you can call me Gummy Kitty, My Friends call me Gummy for Short<- weird name huh? So im new here, and decided to start my own blog account. Im here to blog, as a journal, not really into writing stories and stuff.I'm a Gummy candy obsesser, i love gummy candy, mostly Gummy bears, why dont they make Gummy kitties? I'd like some, maybe they do, My favorite Gummy Brands are Black forest and Haribo, Haribo for when im Mad cuz it's harder than Black forest gummies, but i love em both. I Love Art, of course everyone does, and Polymer clay is what i use to sculpt things, i use normal pencils like everyone else in the word, no magic there, i like to use wooden ones and 0.5 so it's dull or the sharpest, 0.9 will kill my Nerves in my Nerve system. I'm a Californian ;] California FTW? And im big into listening to musik! *Taken* Yeah that's a little about me!
I hope to get some Followers Comment :] not a Fan of being criticized but some advise on writing would help, i am aware people say blogger are showing off there writing, but i believe words can express a lot, Some Say Action speaks louder, There are points of view tho, i can say im Neutral on that :]